Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl’s already involved. Boy is sad. Girl finally realizes that she loves boy. Girl can’t have boy. Blah, blah, blah. The cycle goes on and on until boy ends up getting girl. Sounds exciting, doesn’t it? Yeah, I thought so. I guess it’s this age-old belief that a good love story should go back and forth until both boy and girl end up realizing that they belong together and that no obstacle, no matter how threatening, can stand in their way. I mean, think about it, we’ve seen this done how many times?
The most recent boy-meets-girl love flick, Three to Tango, is by first-time director Damon Santostefano. Full of trite physical humor and weak dialogue, it fails to deliver the emotional wallop many of these so-called love stories are expected to.
Matthew Perry (Friends) plays Oscar Novak, an architect who falls head over heels for his boss’s mistress, Amy (Neve Campbell). Wait, there’s more to the problem; his boss thinks he’s gay, thus the girl believes him to be gay as well. Poor Oscar, there’s no chance of him getting the love of his life now. Then, through a series of misunderstandings and complete silliness, the characters find themselves coming to terms with honesty and all of Oscar’s wishes end up in a nicely wrapped package.
I guess it’s hard for me to stomach all of this gushy nonsense because it’s so outlandishly cheesy. Feel-good movie it may be, but to me it’s still empty. The depth of the characters is nonexistent. Here Oscar is faced with this huge life-altering event: his sexuality is questioned, yet he doesn’t appear all that torn up about it. Yes, he has moments of panic (he wouldn’t be Matthew Perry if he didn’t freak out now and then like his whiny Friends’ character, Chandler), but they’re not substantial enough to portray him as honestly concerned that his life is about to be changed forever.
Also adding to the dullness of the film is Charles Newman (Dylan McDermott). Meant to be a charming money mogul, Charles is more like an expressionless robot. His monotone voice and blank expressions are more distracting than supportive. Neither does Neve Campbell’s character, Amy, offer anything that spectacular as the woman of pursuit. I guess what all of this boils down to is a weak script.
All in all, Three to Tango isn’t that bad. But it’s not that good either. We’ve seen love stories of this kind many times before; this one is too loosely structured to offer fuzzy warmth or intellectual stimulation. With underlying issues of sexuality and infidelity, all entangled in a love story, this could have been a humorous commentary on today’s social issues. But as it wasn’t this at all, Three to Tango is simply a dose of mindless entertainment that will be forgotten next week.
+ ashley adams
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