Cast: Jerry O’Connell
Studio: Columbia
Rating: 1/10

Why would an actor with such a promising career ahead of him get involved with such a disastrous film, and as the lead nonetheless? Folks, I’m talking about Jerry O’Connell, who back in ’86 made his mark as the fat kid, Vern, in the sleeper hit Stand By Me. Today this once rising young star can be seen flexing his muscles and showing off his much leaner physique in Tomcats, a bombastic comedy that succeeds only in the measure of grossing out its audience if not boring them to tears.

O’Connell plays Mike, a carefree playboy bent on staying clear of commitment. Together with his Tomcat cronies a bet is made: the last one to marry will win a pot of money that’s been accumulating over the years. Time passes and it’s down to Mike and his nauseatingly sexist buddy, Kyle (Jake Busey). Who will win? The real question is who cares? After Mike loses everything he owns in a night of gambling, his only solution is to marry off his competition and claim the lucrative jackpot.

Enter Natalie (Shannon Elizabeth), “the one who got away,” who claims Kyle. You can only guess where this story is going. Yup, you’re right, Mike tries to reunite the two in order for martial bliss to take place. Oh, but wait, he ends up falling for her himself, throwing a huge wrench in the plan. I guess it wouldn’t be that irritating if half the characters could act. Shannon Elizabeth should stick with the foreign exchange student roles so she wouldn’t have to actually deliver lines. Yeah, right, like she didn’t get hired on looks alone. And Jake Busey is about as irritating as an onscreen character can be. How is this guy a womanizer? Better yet, how is this character a womanizer? Everything about him is revolting.

I won’t even go into the ludicrous testicle chase scene. Is it funny? I think not. Try overdrawn and down right stupid, and that’s just for starters. Tomcats never had a chance. From beginning to middle to end it’s loaded with a weak story line, painfully boring one-dimensional characters, and over-the-top crude humor that makes the Farrelly brothers look like the Osmonds.

+ Ashley Adams

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