Stuck On You

Stuck On You
Cast: Matt Damon, Greg Kinnear, Eva Mendes, Cher, Michael Callan
Studio: Fox
Rating: 5/10

Corporate Line: A comedy about the oppositional relationship that evolves between a set of Siamese twins–conjoined at the torso–named Bob and Walt. They have used their “disability” throughout life to great advantage. For example, they excelled in high school sports, in which being joined at the hip enabled them to be both a treasured hockey goalie and an unstoppable wrestling champion. Unfortunately, Bob and Walt are slowly “growing apart” in terms of wanting different futures. Their diverging life goals are beginning to threaten their happy union, as they vowed they would never split up. So, after graduation, when Walt wants to go to Hollywood to pursue an acting career, although Bob opposes the move, he begrudgingly goes along. When the twins get to Los Angeles, they soon find themselves landing a job on a TV show starring Cher, which results in quick fame and fortune. However, will the new changes in their lives ultimately drive the twins apart?

The Good: With most Farrelly brothers movies you will laugh – but this is no There’s Something About Mary. It’s hard to say what is so good about Stuck On You considering nothing really sticks out except the old home movies that would be shown of them. What might have been the biggest joke of all was the fact that Kinnear and Damon look nothing a like – that might be the best gag in the film.

The Middle: Greg Kinnear is fun; Matt Damon isn’t as much so. The concept is very original only it doesn’t live up to all the potential. Sure it is silly and sentimental – those only get you so far in a comedy.

Cher is inadequately used, but funny. My favorite is Seymour Cassel as the old agent who rides around in a motorized wheelchair. Hell I’d watch a whole movie about their agent before I’d watch a film about Damon and Kinnear as conjoined twins.

The Bad: One-liners half-fill this film.

Frankly: This is the same comedy mixed with sentimental hogwash that Adam Sandler continuously tries to slip by us. The story about attachment is totally simplistic nonsense. We came to see a comedy and we got a half-ass comedy full of clichés and boredom. If they would have sawed those two in half in the beginning it might have been a hell of a lot funnier. Don’t bother your other half–or significant other-to see this.

+ Charlie Craine

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