The Whole Nine Yards is a crude comedy that’s neither exciting nor something to laugh off. It’s completely neutral and that’s its biggest fault.
Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a nervous, nice-guy dentist whose suburban boredom gets thrown for a loop when his new neighbor, Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis), arrives. Tudeski is a hit man hiding out from the mob. Oz and Jimmy find they have something in common: someone’s trying to kill them both. You’d think that would lead to all sorts of fun, but it never really turns into anything exciting.
Most of the actors take one large step backward. Bruce Willis never comes off well here and Rosanna Arquette is annoying with her particularly bad attempt at a French accent. Perry is, like the film, pretty neutral. Amanda Peet plays Jill, a dental assistant turned apprentice to Tudeski, and is quite good, coming out of nowhere to offer a few bright spots.
The script had so much potential, but the holes are gaping. I know it’s only a movie, but it’s too often unrealistic. It would have been much better if we could actually believe this might happen to us. The film’s death falls upon its minimal laughs and often annoyingly lame Canadian jokes. There just isn’t enough to get excited about.
+ charlie craine
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