The Whole Ten Yards

The Whole Ten Yards
Cast: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge, Amanda Peet, Kevin Pollak
Studio: Warner Bros.
Rating: 5.5/10

Corporate Line: This movie follows the continuing wacky misadventures of a hitman, Jimmy the Tulip (Willis), who lives next door to a mild-mannered dentist, Oz (Perry). Following the events of ‘The Whole Nine Yards,’ Oz is now married to Jimmy’s ex-wife, Cynthia (Henstridge), and Jimmy is married to Oz’s former dental assistant (and hit woman), Jill St. Claire (Peet), and Jimmy has dropped the hitman persona to be more of a family man. Nick has to seek the hitman help of Jimmy and Jill, however, when Cynthia is kidnapped by the Hungarian mob (she was also held hostage in the first movie), which includes Lazlo (Pollak), the brother of Yanni from the first movie.

The Good: Kevin Pollak plays Lazlo and honestly they could have made a movie about Lazlo alone and it would have been more entertaining than this film. Lazlo is the only comic relief.

The Bad: A comedy is supposed to be funny—consistently. The Whole Ten Yards has a few laughs, but the yawns flowed more freely. Ten Yards is cliché-Ville. All of Lazlo’s gang are idiots and everyone else are just kooky. How any of these people are contract killers is beyond me. Oz who is a dentist somehow always gets away with ease and yet we are to believe they are this fierce gang. Right.

They even resort to Perry and Willis waking up naked after a night of drinking and leave it to our imagination what happened the night before. And worse Willis gets up and shows his rear-end as if we are supposed to find it either funny or sexy, his heartthrob days are long over. Sorry Bruce.

Willis finds it important to overact with obnoxious crying and one time biting his fist when supposedly sad—acting 101—act like you’re not acting. We get that you are supposed to be making us laugh…it didn’t work. This sobbing, bumbling killer is a bore.

Frankly: With an ending that doesn’t matter renders The Whole Ten Yards into a film not worth seeing.

+ Charlie Craine

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