I’m going to cut straight to the story on this one because, frankly, it doesn’t deserve much more than that. Corky Romano (Chris Kattan) is a happy-go-lucky, ’80’s-obsessed veterinarian with ADD, or at least it seems that way. He’s asked by his Italian mobster brother to go undercover for the FBI to rescue Columbo, oh, I mean his father (played by Peter Falk, who should have stuck to budget TV), from jail. Corky gets strapped with a mike and some fake FBI ID papers, and we have a movie. No, actually, we don’t.
There are some people who will undoubtedly like this movie. They are also the same people who felt it was a good idea that Superstar was made. You see, people, there is a reason why these SNL-type movies still get made. THEY MAKE LOADS OF MONEY! Who do they have to pay here? Chris Kattan? Though he is, in my humble opinion, quite a funny guy when given the right material and a partner to feed off of, like Will Farrell, he isn’t in the same salary range as the Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts of the world. Hell, he isn’t even in the same range as the American Pie kids. And Peter Falk? He’s just happy that people still remember he’s alive. He probably got about twenty bucks to make this movie. Without meals.
Understand, friends, that SNL involved movies have always made a profit, even when a movie like Stuart Saves His Family drew in approximately fifteen people on opening day. There are little things called cable, videos, and the ever important and gullible foreign audiences who will rabidly snatch up anything remotely American, regardless of how poor it may be.
Yes, I too am guilty of giving in and watching these movies on a rainy Sunday afternoon (I’ve seen Night At The Roxbury about thirty times), but if that’s all they’re good for, why not take them straight to cable? I know I don’t need to remind anyone about this, but these are times of war and recession. If you really need to see a movie that will make you laugh, see Zoolander. It’s far more clever and endearing. If you have eight extra dollars in your pocket that you can’t find anything to do with, donate it to the Red Cross or any other related charity. Hell, give it to a bum on the street. It’s a far better spent than on this dung. Will the real Chris Kattan please step forward? I know you’re out there, somewhere…
+ marc ruppell
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