CORPORATE LINE: This action-horror film is set in ancient Romania and stars Kristianna Loken (TERMINATOR 3) as Rayne, a half-human/half-vampire sworn to kill her evil tyrant vampire father (Ben Kingsley). Michael Madsen, Michelle Rodriguez, and Matthew Davis play a trio of vampire hunters who ally themselves with Rayne. Based on a video game, this film earns its R-rating by offering a lot more blood, gore, and nudity–and less CGI effects–than most of its modern vamp contemporaries. With all its swords, chained breasts, gushing arteries, and severed heads, BLOODRAYNE seems more like a welcome throwback to those great early 1980s drive-in sword and sorcery flicks. In between the slashing and gouging there are torch-lit castles, nefarious booby traps, blurry flashbacks, and aerial camera shots that swoop down through the gorgeous Carpathian landscapes. Loken, with her fangs and low-rider leather chaps, looks pretty gorgeous herself, and there’s a surprising number of name actors in bit parts, including Meat Loaf (as a vamp surrounded by nubile naked concubines), Geraldine Chaplin (as a fortune teller), and–clearly having the most fun–Billy Zane as a bored vampire king plotting to take over the kingdom. It’s directed by Uwe Boll, the man who gave us the video game adaptations of HOUSE OF THE DEAD and ALONE IN THE DARK. Cult cinema fans should take this one to–and through–the heart, especially for the chance to see Madsen’s period costume and long hair.
THE REVIEW: There are some really bad movies adapted from video games but this takes the cake. Bloodrayne is the worst video game movie ever. Ben Kingsley and Billy Zane obviously don’t care about anything other than a paycheck.
THE EXTRAS:
The director commentary features Uwe Boll who is joined by producer Daniel Clarke and cast members Kristanna Lokken and William Sanderson. It’s impossible to take this seriously because either Boll is trying to do a great sales job or he really believes this is a good film. Over and over again he talks about how certain scenes turned out so great. It’s almost impossible to watch and not laugh.
“CGI Making of the Film” – This featurette is simply a look at the special effects.
“Dinner with Uwe” – This featurette is an interview with Uwe Boll and two IGN writers. IGN consequently give the film a bad review but their writers don’t ask any questions about why the movie is so bad. It’s a train wreck and that isn’t brought up nor do they ever question Boll’s assertion that it’s a good film and he is a great director. Boll is obviously insane.
Finally, there is a trailer, storyboards, and the complete BloodRayne 2 PC Video Game. Oddly enough, the PC game is worth the purchase alone—if this were just the movie they wouldn’t sell ten copies.
FRANKLY: Uwe Boll keeps getting to make movies and there is no explanation why—it’s particularly hard to understand after watching Bloodrayne. If you are making a top ten list of bad movies we’ve got another entrant.
+ Charlie Craine
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.