T-Spoon – T-Spoon

T-Spoon
Artist: T-Spoon
Title: T-Spoon
Label: 550
Rating: 1/10

I don’t know what is more appalling about this disc: the lyrics or the cheesy music. The first track, “Sex On The Beach”, is embarrassingly lame. It reminds me of Ace Of Base, if only they had a guy trying to sound like a rastaman. Then there is the synth flute, which sounds like they’re using a child’s keyboard. “Got 2 Get U Back” is even worse. T-Spoon somehow finds a way to rip off both the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears on the same track. “Tom’s Party” is the same. Now they try to be C & C Music Factory. Too bad that group died out a lifetime ago. We can only hope T-Spoon meets the same fate.

“In Loving Memory” opens with an attempt to be spirited, but it flounders and falls on its face. This band sounds like a parody. I’m not even sure whether to take the album seriously. “Make It Funky” does get your toes tapping for about a second, and then we get the rap. I can’t believe this guy was signed to a record label. He has no talent. Next is “I Want To Be Your Man”. I swear, when I heard this my jaw dropped about a foot. This is definitely riding shotgun on the cheese wagon. Wait. “Summer Love” is awfully close, too. Then, the worst keyboard sound I’ve heard on an album yet comes out on “Boom Boom!” If this is the future of music, someone please put me out of my misery.

As if the product wasn’t bad enough, check out Greg’s haircut on the back of the album. I just hope no one buys this cd, because if these guys catch on, I’ll have to find a new line of work. Then again, if this group can get signed, there’s hope for everyone, with or without talent. I hope these guys didn’t quit their jobs.

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