Razorlight – Razorlight

Razorlight
Artist: Razorlight
Title: Razorlight
Label: Universal
Rating: 1.5/10

CORPORATE LINE: Monday 28th June 2004 began a week where a band called Razorlight stopped being a London four-piece with potential and instead saw them stand up and seize their destiny to become a British band of huge substance. A sign of things to come, Razorlight came of age. It was a great summer.

That week in the summer of 2004, Razorlight’s debut album ‘Up All Night’ entered the UK album chart at No. 1 and seven days later ‘Up All Night’ was No. 3 in the official UK chart.

That same week, Razorlight took on three British institutions in a row, starting with a remarkable performance on Top Of The Pops, going on to play in front of Buckingham Palace and a TV audience of millions at the Olympic Torch Parade in London and then before they even had time to bow to the Queen, being rushed across country to the most quintessential of festivals: Glastonbury. Though bottom of the bill in the Sunday morning slot, Razorlight were on a roll that they still haven’t come down from. Whilst playing a small, televised, acoustic set for Radio1’s Jo Whiley backstage at Glastonbury, veteran British TV host Michael Parkinson was watching – the story goes that he was so impressed that he resolved there and then that Razorlight must perform on his television show and so, three months later, they did. Razorlight’s rendition of their No. 9 UK single ‘Golden Touch’ complete with gospel backing singers wowed not only Parkinson but fellow guest Tom Cruise and has gone on to be screened around the world – it is the perfect illustration of Razorlight as a world class band.

THE GOOD:
Nothing.

THE AVERAGE:
Nothing.

THE BAD:
“In The Morning” – Cheesy, dull, insipid. How is that?
“Who Needs Love” – The lack of a hook or cool vocals make this attempt at being The Cars worse than lackluster.
“Hold On” – When is the last time you heard a song that made you want to choke someone? Welcome to Razorlight. With lame lyrics and Johnny Borrell’s vocals, that sound purposely slurred, it takes only thirty seconds to go mental.
“America” – Singing “hold me” and trying to make a discombobulated song about God only knows proves how much Razorlight sucks.

FRANKLY: Razorlight goes down as one of the worst releases of the year. It’s laughable that a major label signed Razorlight at all. There isn’t one song, one hook, one lyric, one ounce of talent. You could go to any bar in the country and find a better band. The fact that Razorlight won awards in the UK proves how poor their taste is. Thanks for nothing.

+ Rae Gun


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