Tomb Raider:The Cradle Of Life

Tomb Raider
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Chris Barrie
Studio: Paramount
Rating: 3/10

Corporate Line: This time around, archaeologist and explorer extraordinaire Lara Croft journeys to a temple, sunken underwater, that leads to a sphere that contains the mythical Pandora’s Box, only to have it stolen from her by Chen Lo, the leader of a Chinese crime syndicate, who’s in league with a bad guy named Reiss who wants to use the Box as a doomsday weapon.

The Good: Scenic views of many countries from China to Honk Kong and Africa. There are stunts galore – that’s all that can be said in regards to what good there is.

The Bad: Lara punches a great white in the nose a hundred feet below the surface? That is quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen on film.

Question; Isn’t this about Lara Croft the Tomb Raider? Where is the raiding of tombs? Where is the adventures of the video games? The Cradle Of Life strays so far from the video game concept that it has defeated the purpose of the entire franchise. The funny thing is that the video game is actually more interesting than what we see on the screen.

There is another mess in this film. When Croft gets her treasured sphere which could lead a billionaire madman to unleash horrific evil does she destroy it to keep it out of his hands? No she does the dumbest thing imaginable. Someone should have read this script and said ‘this makes no sense’ and just and went back to the drawing board.

Jan De Bont does a terrible job of directing. Slow motion inserts where they are not needed mixed with poorly designed fit scenes. He has the camera so close to the individuals that you never the idea of what is really going on until it is over. He seems so focused on Jolie’s lips and breasts that you’d think he was making homage to her.

Frankly: The Cradle Of Life has ruined the conversion of video games to film perhaps for all future generations. Hopefully we’ve seen the last of Angeline Jolie and her Lara Croft character. Whatever you do don’t waste your money. This is a dreadful film that does provoke one emotion; pissing you off.

+ Charlie Craine

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