Corporate line:
Legendary rock ‘n’ roller Alice Cooper has unleashed the dark conceptual album “Along Came A Spider” about a serial killer named Spider who cuts off a leg from each of his female victims then binds their bodies in silk.

The good:
“I’m Hungry” – Totally tacky and corny–yet you’ll be singing along in a “Rocky Horror Picture Show” sort of way.

The rest:
“Vengeance Is Mine” – Nothing new–just recycled ’80s licks and lyrics.
“Wake The Dead” – “Shake my head/ Wake the dead”–do we have to say more? If that isn’t convincing enough then the line “run for your life” at the end of the chorus, which sounds like a ten-year-old put it together, takes the cake. Perhaps the weirdest thing is how much the verses sound ripped from Oasis.
“Salvation” – It’s a bad song and yet it would have been a perfect song for Sweeney Todd. Aftershave anyone?

Finally:
Alice Cooper is the worst of the worst fake bad-asses. The concept album reaches back to Cooper’s heyday. Sounds like a formula for success right? Sure there are fans still around that might be ready for a new Cooper album–but it’s hard to take him seriously when he looks more at home on the golf course. Coopers best days are long past–even if a few of the songs aren’t beyond listening to. The ultimate problem is the massive cloud hanging over each song and the whole tired persona.